Chinglish and Harry Plopper

Hello again fellow internet users! 
I've been neglectful.
Lots of stuffs been happening.
Like Christmas. And my family visiting. And me being lazy.
That laziness has really been filling up my schedule.

Anyways, I'm sure you've been wondering if I have any awesome Chinglish pictures that I could share with you.
And I do! Surprise!

#1
This seems like a pretty good warning sign right?
"Don't fish for power lines" seems like pretty sound advice!

However, look where it is.

 Such a bad name. Such a bad, painful name.

Can't figure out how to eat your batteries with chopsticks? Have no fear! Complimentary utensils are here!

Saw this walking back home the other night. Now, I know what you're thinking, "Slavery's still legal in China??! Quick! Let's use our military force and go abolish that!"  You guys are jumping the gun a bit though. This is OBVIOUSLY a makeup shop. Obviously.

Should I be insulted?

The coffee shop around the corner from us sells this gem. YUm!

Since everyone in China happens to be the same size (No joke. The Walmart equivalent near me sells one size of dress.. which happens to be a long shirt on super tall me.) I guess this is necessary for the few exceptions. I just thought it was hilarious how blunt they were and that Peter Griffin decided to endorse it.

 The emblem says Ralph Lauren. The tag does not.

Italian Chinese man selling street pizza?!! Yes please!!
Side note, this vendor doesn't actually sell pizza. Why do they have the pictures then? ...Good question!

 Teehee!

Double Teehee!

The first hotel we stayed at when we got to China had these two beauties. 

This one was on a door right by the elevator that couldn't have been a full sized room.

Was it a broom or janitor's closet? The smallest Staff Room ever? Or another elevator shaft that they only use to throw dead bodies into?

We'll never know...

I'm thinking there must be some sort of Harry Potter-esque corridor between these two. I didn't have enough faith to try running full speed between them tho. Pity.

Speaking of Harry Potter, we are now on break for Spring Festival (woop woop!), and since the hotel where we live closes for the break, they put us up in a fancy shmansy place downtown!

This morning, for almost the entirety of my block long walk to the coffee place, I was serenaded by one of the street cleaning trucks that drives around spraying down and scrubbing the streets with a Scarborough Fair/Harry Potter theme hybrid and the acoustics from the super tall, widely spaced, concrete buildings in the intersection made it echo.

I had a super serene, "I'm a self-empowered being, I can conquer this mountain, this place looks so beautiful when I'm floating above it," moment before I remembered that there were 20ish Chinese people staring at me and if the light changes, that truck could pass me and spray some of the baby poop off the street onto me. I then sprinted across the street and became less involved in the music and more in preserving my poop-free pants.

I love China.

More soon!

No, Really!

~Izzy~