Sunday, February 3, 2013

Chinglish and Harry Plopper

Hello again fellow internet users! 
I've been neglectful.
Lots of stuffs been happening.
Like Christmas. And my family visiting. And me being lazy.
That laziness has really been filling up my schedule.

Anyways, I'm sure you've been wondering if I have any awesome Chinglish pictures that I could share with you.
And I do! Surprise!

#1
This seems like a pretty good warning sign right?
"Don't fish for power lines" seems like pretty sound advice!

However, look where it is.


 Such a bad name. Such a bad, painful name.

Can't figure out how to eat your batteries with chopsticks? Have no fear! Complimentary utensils are here!

Saw this walking back home the other night. Now, I know what you're thinking, "Slavery's still legal in China??! Quick! Let's use our military force and go abolish that!"  You guys are jumping the gun a bit though. This is OBVIOUSLY a makeup shop. Obviously.

Should I be insulted?

The coffee shop around the corner from us sells this gem. YUm!

Since everyone in China happens to be the same size (No joke. The Walmart equivalent near me sells one size of dress.. which happens to be a long shirt on super tall me.) I guess this is necessary for the few exceptions. I just thought it was hilarious how blunt they were and that Peter Griffin decided to endorse it.

 The emblem says Ralph Lauren. The tag does not.

Italian Chinese man selling street pizza?!! Yes please!!
Side note, this vendor doesn't actually sell pizza. Why do they have the pictures then? ...Good question!

 Teehee!

Double Teehee!



The first hotel we stayed at when we got to China had these two beauties. 
This one was on a door right by the elevator that couldn't have been a full sized room.
Was it a broom or janitor's closet? The smallest Staff Room ever? Or another elevator shaft that they only use to throw dead bodies into?
We'll never know...

I'm thinking there must be some sort of Harry Potter-esque corridor between these two. I didn't have enough faith to try running full speed between them tho. Pity.

Speaking of Harry Potter, we are now on break for Spring Festival (woop woop!), and since the hotel where we live closes for the break, they put us up in a fancy shmansy place downtown!

This morning, for almost the entirety of my block long walk to the coffee place, I was serenaded by one of the street cleaning trucks that drives around spraying down and scrubbing the streets with a Scarborough Fair/Harry Potter theme hybrid and the acoustics from the super tall, widely spaced, concrete buildings in the intersection made it echo.

I had a super serene, "I'm a self-empowered being, I can conquer this mountain, this place looks so beautiful when I'm floating above it," moment before I remembered that there were 20ish Chinese people staring at me and if the light changes, that truck could pass me and spray some of the baby poop off the street onto me. I then sprinted across the street and became less involved in the music and more in preserving my poop-free pants.

I love China.

More soon!
No, Really!
~Izzy~

15 comments:

  1. Wow, those are great. Reminds me of when I went to Thailand and there'd be street carts called "Subway" or "McDonald's" that were just local foods fried up on a wok. Or "Armoni" shirts and "Calvin Klain" jeans. The lack of copyright laws in Asia is just a breeding ground for hilarity.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bahaha! I haven't seen any McDonalds street carts around so far. Yet another in a long list of reasons why I NEED to go to Thailand.

      I freaking LOVE the lack of copyright laws here! That, and the fact that it's totally legal to illegally download movies/music. China is the best because it's the worst. Love it to death.

      Delete
  2. Oh I miss you Izzy! I love seeing the pictures. remind me do I call you on the number on skype? or is it a different phone number?
    -Meredith

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HEllo! We just talked on skype! Weeee!

      Delete
  3. Those pictures were hilarious! I hope you find more to share. They're really funny.

    Also, I'm incredibly jealous. I want something to play the Harry Potter theme for everyone around here to hear! (And by everyone, I mean me. I want them to play it just so I can hear it.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey thank you! Any new awesomely awesome ones I find I promise to post. :)

      Delete
  4. Hahahaha Those are hilarious! You make me want to go to China too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YAY! Doo it! I'll take you out for coffee and we can giggle at Chinglish signs together. :)

      Delete
  5. You're back! Yay! Love these signs - Fat Guy underwear and Love House may be the favorites.

    ReplyDelete
  6. You must have been disappointed when you found out the vendor didn't really have any pizza. Well, I would have been anyway.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Omigosh! So disappointed! Because of the lack of western food options here, I have become beyond obsessed with the few that are available. Mainly pizza. I pouted for way longer than any grown up adult person should after finding out they didn't make pizza... Stupid vendor.

      Delete
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