Postponed

Little Lark Mason IV has decided to take his time. He was originally due on November 27th, but since that date has come and gone and I haven't progressed any (disappointing), we have been scheduled to be induced this upcoming Monday evening. So little Lark is probably going to arrive sometime Tuesday evening. 

I CAN'T WAIT!!!! Not just because I'm excited to finally hold the little guy but because I have steadily gotten more and more round. Being a week overdue now, it's a little bit ridiculous. 

I think it was about two months ago that I realized that I'm wider when I turn sideways than when I'm facing forwards. Of course, 22 years of practice still tells me that I should turn sideways when trying to sqeeeeeeze in-between people, or chairs, or what-have-you, so there have been many a occasion where I try to sneakily squeeze by someone having a conversation or someone peacefully trying to enjoy their soup and I end up bashing them into their friend or their hand into their bowl with my ginormous belly.

"Oops! Pardon Me! I am completely unaware of where my body starts and ends since it has been steadily spreading out into space at a plague-like speed for 9 months. Hope you can bleach that out…ha..ha….."

I'm trying to stay optimistic though. I've never gotten more use out of my periscope.

Take THAT impaired vision!

Also, I finally have a solution for the crazy fatigue that's been plaguing me all this pregnancy.

Viola!! Naps on the go! 

Aaand if I ever get zapped "Honey I Shrunk The Kids" style and then somehow got inside of a video game console, 

I could be the best Super Mario EVER! 

Mario ain't got nothin' on my squashing skills. 

I only pray that Little Lark is good and does as he's supposed to and comes on Tuesday, because if not and he grows any more, the world will be in trouble.

Falling Babies

Thus far Izzy and I have had two baby showers; both of which where huge blessings to us.

Baby Shower #1:

Baby Shower #2:

Okay, it wasn't exactly like that, but seriously?!? What kind of a name is that?

Anyways, we received a ton of baby paraphernalia such as diapers, baby onesies, a pirate raincoat, a baby catapult, and socks. 

OH the joys of baby socks!! How cute they are, I wish I had some baby toe socks, that would just be overpoweringly cute, causing me to lose control of all of my physical faculties, defecate myself and I would die.

On my tombstone it would read thus:

Moving on...

We had two showers, one in Abilene, and one in Austin.

The one in Abilene was very fun, but did not have all that many people; just some close friends and family, hanging out and joking around. It was great though and was hosted by a close friend of my mother-in law, Sandra.

The second shower was in Austin, and was hosted by another friend of my mother-in law, Denise.  

Now I need to issue some background information about this second shower...

A Long Long time Ago... (About 153 days)

Izzy and I had a wedding shower in Austin.  I, not wanting to leave her alone (she doesn't like a lot of attention), and wanting to just be with her (I don't like not being able to give her attention), went to the wedding shower (only guy there = lots of attention).  

I'll admit, it was fun, but quite frankly, being surrounded by 30-50 ladies, with tea in their hands and crackers and presents and hugs, whose names I don't know but who very much so want to get to know the young hobbit marrying their graceful gazelle, Lauren.... was a little tiring. Fun but tiring. (I get the feeling that this is why most guys don't go, a mingling of fear and fatigue, of the ravenous kindness of a huge number of friendly people, inducing temporary paralysis which can lead to outburst of randomness)

Given that information I will also say this, I am not one scared of social situations in the least bit, nor am I fearful of being the only man in a large group of women, (I am the only hobbit in almost all my classes, excepting in Civilization I, weird huh?) possibly from the fact that I have two sisters, and my mother and father both have sisters.  Or it could be the fact that I played on the woman's volleyball team for a couple years in highschool... THAT ended awkwardly. 

Whatever the reason, I wouldn't mind being at the baby shower.  However, I didn't want to steal the attention that Izzy so rightfully deserved.  Dylan, thinking to link arms with me and so drag me to safety from the sea of females, stayed for some time until the questions of, "We know why he's here, but why did you stay?" became too much and he had to leave and reclaim his masculinity by eating a giant steak after chopping down a tree.  You're a good man Charlie Brown.

Izzy, on the other hand, was thoroughly happy to share the limelight, and very sweet the entire time.  She looked incredibly cute, and enjoyed herself very much as did I.

The ladies seemed to be very fond of her.  I could tell this from not only the hugs, and smiles she received but, from the giant pile of stuff we got.

I will profess that this is the only time in my life that I have been truly happy to have diapers thrown at me. 

In the words of my brave friend Dylan "Rufus,"  it's much better to have them flung now, before the chocolate filling has been added.

Love you all,

Tootie and Izzy

Water Displacement Fears

Recently, as in every day for the past three weeks, Lark has been trying to convince me to go swimming with him. At first it was just to do laps at the local Y; then I got a membership at ACU's new gym and that has become his primary goal.

Now, I would just like to state that, I do like swimming. I think I would even say that I love to swim. If we had an ocean in our backyard, I would be in there until my pruney fingers grew and grew and I turned into one giant, walking, talking, swollen prune. 

However, since becoming pregnant, I have felt less and less of a need to don a bathing suit and parade in public. Maybe it's because I've begun to feel like I've grown into a giant, walking, talking, swollen prune. Maybe I just haven't found a maternity swimsuit that doesn't irk me. Either way, Lark has now, in the middle of autumn, made it his objective to get me over my stipulations, into a suit, and in the water.

Since he persisted and "No thanks", "No.", and "Good Gosh, Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!!" haven't had any effect, I decided to make visual aids to help me explain, that I thought I would share with y'all. I would have made an educational flannelgraph, but I decided to go with the free method first. Flannelgraphs will be the next step.



Dearest Larkimous,
         Please note the inevitable occurrences below.

Stage 1

Stage 2

Stage 3

This is why I should not, shall not, and will not accompany you on any aquatic excursions in the immediate future.

Thank you,
Your loving wife, Izzy